1StarCroatia – Samobor Old Town

⭐⭐⭐The view from there is nothing to write home about. ⭐⭐⭐

This time, I chose an unusually high rating: as much as three stars for the ruinous medieval town above a charming town of Samobor.

Most of the people are rather impressed with the view when they get to the fort. Not this traveller. The view is what annoyed him most. Usually, he writes about the beautiful views back home. Not this time. He expected a better reward once he climbs as much as 250 m above sea level.

To tell you the truth, most people don’t expect a grand view because the old town is not on a very high altitude and it takes you only 20 minutes to get there. We’ve never heard anyone saying: “you have the go there, the view is amazing!”. We can’t really understand where do his expectations come from…

Some people are disappointed because the monument is in a rather poor condition, others love to explore it precisely because of that. Some complain the trail is muddy, others are thrilled with a chance of a short hike straight from the city center. But once you get there, people are usually overwhelmed with a pretty view that they didn’t expect. Immediately, they realise why did they build it right there back in the 13th century: the castle is not so easy to spot, yet it overlooks the valley and beyond.

But that was not enough for our reviewer! He expected to see something other than the scenery that surrounds it. Thank you for the warning! If we decide to go to the old town of Samobor, we’re going to stay away from the view.

1StarCroatia – Zadar Greeting to the Sun

It’s a screen on the floor

It’s not quite a screen, it’s panels, but that’s about it – it’s a good and honest review, dear tourist.

It’s photo-sensitive panels that pick up the sun rays during the day and play an adorable light show in the evening. Hope the same tourist who left this terrible review, managed to at least “enjoy” the real sun, or better yet sunset, though we doubt he’s into colourful light shows.

Hitchcock once called the Zadar sunset “the most beautiful sunset in the world”. We took his words for granted and it is now an iconic saying. It’s also one of the reasons why it makes perfect sense to build the playful installation “Greeting to the Sun” precisely in Zadar. We suggest it is about time to start trusting someone else..after all, who cares about Hitchcock’s opinion these days? So, thank you, random tourist, for the useful 1-star-review!

1StarCroatia – Lonjsko Polje

⭐⭐ Could be beatiful, but where? ⭐⭐

Are you making plans for the weekend? How does a day in nature sound? Don’t be fooled, nature can be poorly rated, too. Today, I have a few photos from a single destination because I simply couldn’t decide which photo goes best with the poor review I discovered online. The review was posted by a man who had only half an hour to explore one of the largest wetlands in Europe.

We hope today’s post is going to make you think twice about visiting Lonjsko polje. It might be beautiful, but where? Is it the rivers, the woods? The traditional wooden architecture and the elsewhere-lost way of life that makes the whole area seem out of time? The storks village? You have to more precise!



1StarCroatia – St James Cathedral in Šibenik

Pity!

We are going to be seeing more of St James cathedral on this blog in the future. It has some rather bad reviews. For starters, I chose this simple quote from TripAdvisor that will tell you all you need to know about one of the most special monuments in Croatia.

I’m not going to go through all of the unique qualities of the Šibenik cathedral that put the building on the list of UNESCO world heritage. Let’s just mention the most recognisable one – the greatest portrait gallery of the era with over 70 heads that decorate the cathedral.

Why would we unnecessarily bore you with other uniquenesses, when an online reviewer knows about this pitiful try of those 15th and 16th century builders to impress a 21st century traveller .

1StarCroatia – Džamonja Sculpture Park in Vrsar

A few statues in the park.

Not enough sculptures and not impressive enough. You know what? Don’t even bother visiting Dušan Džamonja Sculpture Park near Vrsar. This used to be a property of an avantguard artist of global importance. When they opened a sculpture park in the memorial space that the artist had created himself, they should have thought about people who don’t dig symbolic art, right? Not everyone is an art freak but anyone can leave a Tripadvisor review – guess they didn’t really consider that, huh?

Now, seriously, what can be interesting about visiting a place an artist envisioned for himself? To walk around a vast serene location decorated with more than 20 of his amazing sculptures (amazing only if you’re into that sort of “art”), and imagining the artist working on each of the pieces, while envisioning its perfect location and designing the next piece. At the same time, he was busy reading all the art critics who praised him as the greatest symbolist of his time. Sounds extremely boring, let’s not bother.